Tryst with Death

How would you like to die?

Does the word ‘death’ not send tremors to most of us? Since time immemorial, man would strive to do anything to ward off death – be it ‘a magic potion – elixir of life’ or religious rites to please the god of death. Rig Veda advocates a prayer to Lord Shiva – mrithyanjaya mantra, that can protect one from death. It is believed to stop premature deaths, or at best ward off the fear of death! There are citations in epics where Lord Shiva himself revealed this mantra to his disciples: Markandeya, sukrachaya and Rishi Vasishta. One who does not die is called a Chiranjeevi. There are six more Chiranjeevis as per Hindu mythology: Hanuman, Parashurama, Vibhushan, Aswathama, Mahabali and Kripacharya. Though ‘chranjeevi’, lives for ever, one can consider himself so, after having lived for over a hundred years in the present day of evolutionary autonomy coupled with progress in various facets of medical field. The life expectancy otherwise being a little over 70 years in most of the developed societies of the world.

Is living that long a boon or bane?

As people age, they are much more likely to develop degenerative conditions that could lead to a lower quality of life. Crucially, strategies to promote healthy ageing may not only ease the burdens on society, but help to ensure that our longer lives are better lives – even in a philosophical sense. As the population continues to age, we will need to make important and potentially difficult choices about how we want to care for the elderly. Sometimes it might be better for us to die earlier than we otherwise might have, if doing so is more consistent with the “life story” we wanted for ourselves – for example, being active and independent throughout our lives. Else life then becomes a pain rather than pleasurable. But even then, the very thought of Death is scaring – as dying is not easy.

But terminally ill also may dwell on such thoughts!

Though the impact of sudden death is terrible, it is extremely painful to watch the sufferings of terminal ills. More so to the kith and kin. Even the philosophically balanced person would be extremely disturbed if the ‘expiry date’ is known! For example those who are terminally ill, their days are counted but not sure whether it is months or years. In such cases, the life expectancy statistics are just numbers that are not useful to those suffering. Oncologists are often reluctant to discuss life-expectancy estimates with their patients because of concerns about their inaccuracy and limited evidence regarding benefits. Those are really blessed who do not know the ‘secret’ – ignorance is bliss!

Though there were several writers who wrote about the mental tribulations of the kith and kins when the ‘death’ was at the doorstep, the recent one by Dr Paul Kalanidhi, ‘while breath becomes air’ depicts the resolution to face the reality with determination and grace! After years of hard work, when he was about to reach his cherished goal of qualified neurosurgeon, he was struck with lung cancer. In this book, written in his twilight years of less than two years from the knowledge of his impending death, he beautifully depicts the mental tribulations of all close to him, most of them doctors in their own right. With so much of plans to accomplish in life, when death suddenly stares at him, he and his wife settle down to face the reality and plan for the small ‘left over’ life. It needs immense guts to live the ‘remnant’ life with grit.

On the other hand, sudden death, say due to massive heart attack or by an accident, though is extremely painful, is on an entirely different plane, compared to the slow death.

Coming to the life of ‘non-Chiranjeevis’, the normal mortals – most of them age ‘gracefully’. As one ages the expectations of ‘left over’ remnant life depends on the quality of life or the their present status of health. The wish reduces – accordingly one plans ‘the future’ – in sixties it may be for a decade at best, while in nineties, even if you wake up healthy, you should be happy – you live for the day! One should be aware of fragility of life, though! I am not talking of life of ‘real chiranjeevis’ living after scoring a century.

Think of the plight of terminally ill patients, when the doctor first pronounces the prognosis. They invariably utter – ‘God, why me? What have I done for the hell to befall on me?’. But the fact of life is, if such thing can happen to anybody, then why not you. There are diseases with extremely rare even in productive age group who are commonly with robust health – But it is not absolute zero occurrence. How many can simply accept that as one’s fate? Yes, it is a fact that all are mortals, but knowing when you are going to die or the death is not far away, is extremely sickening! The fateful day being a secret to many, is indeed a blessing in disguise!

Even if you have not sinned, you may not be totally risk free! The oft quoted adages like வினை விதைத்தவன் வினை அறுப்பான், as you sow so you reap, is to keep the morally weak not to sin. But in day to day life, do you really see its happening that way? No. One sows for others to reap! The adage is pronounced only to heal your afflicted wounds – to curse others who are harming – to vent out your helplessness!

I am amazed at our elders often putting a prefix while pronouncing any plans – ‘பொழைச்சுக்கிடந்தா நாளைக்கு ஊருக்கு போகலாம்’! This roughly translates to ‘will go to town, if at all we are alive’ – what a prophetic statement? They have understood that life is uncertain. If at all one plans, be certain that there would be ‘uncertainty that can’t be planned’!

In the Indian epic ‘Mahabharata’, there comes an encounter with ‘yaksha’. The eldest of the Pandavas is asked by the yaksha several questions and one of them is on this present topic – ‘who is the most ignorant fool?’ Dharmaraj answers ‘those who think they would not be dying even after being witness to many of the deaths around’! This phenomenon called ‘death’ could not have been philosophically explained better!

But taking the life as it is even while being terminally ill and suffer in silence, require moral strength which only a few possess. King Parikshit on knowing he is left with only a week to live, listened to ‘Bhagavatham’ for a blissful demise!

தேர்ந்த ஆன்மீகவாதிகள் நாளையும் நேரத்தையும் குறித்து கொடுத்துவிட்டு அந்த நாளில் சமாதி அடைவதாக கேள்விப்படுகிறோம். அது அவர்கள் தவத்தினால் கிடைத்த வரம். அது போல் எதுவும் அறியாதவர்களுக்கு மரணகாலத்தை மறைத்து வைப்பது இறைவன் கொடுப்பினை.
அதுவும் இருக்கும்வரை (ஓரளவுக்காவது) பிறருக்கு துன்பம் தராமல் இருப்பதும் கொடுப்பினை. அது இயற்கையாக நிகழ்வதும் கொடுப்பினை. நோய் என்று வந்து வாழ்கையே சுமை என்னும்போது மரணமே கொடுப்பினை. அனைத்துக்கும் ஆண்டவன் அருள் வேண்டும்.

Is there any other way to get mental peace for ‘agnostics’ in this predicament?